Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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