I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I think I just sharted jello shots
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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