She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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