his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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