It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This house was built for laser tag.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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