Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
