Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
