She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
