It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
