Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
