theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
