Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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