Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Come see our sink grown plant.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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