She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's rum buckets o'clock
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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