That's intense
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
