There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
