Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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