I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
