I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
did you just send me my own nude
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
