i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
