yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
