well I can't set my house on fire every night
Michael Bay diarrhea
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
