shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
