U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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