He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
