I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
