I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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