kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
