She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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