Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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