So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
