How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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