I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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