I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
