Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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