he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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