I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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