You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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