ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
