i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
