You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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