You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
