Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
