Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
