I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
