i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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