You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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