i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
