i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
