Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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