Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
