Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
