i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
